The Art of Growing Up
Growing up is one of the greatest phenomenons one can experience. Think about it, from learning how to match shapes to cooking and working and learning on your own. Life is truly an experience of the good and bad out there. And as life evolves, so does learning. Learning is evergreen; we never stop learning. Only the level of learning changes.
From being taught in school to life experiences giving us a lesson, our lives are a marvel full of lessons in the form of inheritance. It’s these lessons that shape us and contribute most to our emotional development.
Look at a leader, for example. They typically begin their journey as a junior staff only to one day lead a department full of people. What makes them capable of leading others? It is them having worked day and night, learning from their mistakes, and amending those before their colleagues deemed them worthy of leading. It’s their ability to recall what it was like when they filled the roles they’re now overseeing.
This is the art of growing up – learning from your mistakes. Identifying and accepting you have flaws and working on them to be a better version of yourself. This is also the most defined line between maturity and childish behavior.
When you can identify your own shortcomings, you can contribute to your growth. Of course, we all need guidance on improving ourselves daily, for which the best example would be Jerry Colonna.
The man is known for assisting CEOs and leaders in facing their inner struggles, dealing with their psychological flaws, and altering their behavioral patterns. To be honest, we all have inner demons we need to face.
These demons are our setbacks and areas that need improvement. Only we shun them out for various reasons. We all have our reasons not to face our drawbacks, though we forget that if we do not identify where we are wrong, how can we improve?
Take a child, for example. If the child does not know they are making a mistake, they cannot understand the concept of why we are teaching them something. This is one parenting mishap as well, whereby parents discipline their child without telling them what it was that they did wrong.
If you can understand what needs to be altered about your behavior and actions, you can mold those into your favor to be successful.
What constructs your inner demon, though? It is all of the trauma you keep pushing at the back of your head rather than facing it. The list of trauma is endless. It can be childhood abuse, bullying at school, bad teachers, different forms of harassment, failing exams, difficulty knowing what you want, difficulty focusing on things, a failed relationship, being cheated on, losing a loved one, so on and so forth.
The point is, while traumas can be anything that deeply affects it, it is us not facing them. Our instincts tell us to evade a trauma as if it would make it better. When we evade something, we only ignore it, and ignorance is not the key to understand why we had to go through something, let alone how we can fix that bad experience we inherited.
When facing or even recalling trauma, we may need help. Know that if you are willing to take that step, you don’t have to be ashamed of seeking help. Be it a friend or professional, never hold yourself back.
Again, think of a child who does not know how to go about a certain task. You would tell them it is ok for them to ask, right? So why not render yourself that flexibility and acceptance?
We talked about child development to help you see those factors are influenced more by science and nature. At the same time, an adult’s development is ruled by circumstances and life affairs, which we can mold more easily. Only the pain of facing something we don’t want stunts our growth.
When we ignore something that needs to be fixed about us, we allow that trauma or setback to shape our capabilities negatively. We let negativity affect our thought process, which makes us lose focus.
That is not what growing up should be about, and who would know better if not us? Who would know better if not an adult that letting failures is never good? This is why life lets us see the cycle of child development.
If a child is not corrected, we know the consequences it will bring about. So why do we deprive ourselves of this knowledge when we go through something.
Every time you feel stuck or think you are unable to do something, why not give yourself the treatment of leniency you would to a child?
You will be surprised the day you accept something about yourself. Your mind will soon start to think of ways to overcome that situation or challenge. The day you understand your growth is stunted because you refused to accept something, then let it teach you a lesson. You will see you can change the course of your life.