Phase 3: Waiting for Your Patience
When it comes to being patient, it is not a virtue for most of us. Or we can say our circumstances do not allow patience to be a virtue. The need to rush through things and getting them done in the blink of an eye has surpassed everything. Be it at work or grocery shopping, the way the world is evolving is phenomenally hasty.
We are now capable of performing actions in the blink of an eye. With that, the ability to be patient has started to diminish. And as we master the art of quick decision-making, we have adapted to this lifestyle. Waiting is deemed as a dreadful chore now.
So what happens when we start dreading the very thing that is meant to be an asset? We deprive ourselves of the very weapon that can help us fight every adversary and challenge that we face in life.
Any incident that is beyond our influence is referred to as "external stimuli." There are many things in life that we cannot control, often leading to temper when patience could have been the answer. From traffic on the way to work to extensive queues at supermarkets, these situations may seem trivial but are a significant cause of rage at times. In such scenarios, where we experience an incident beyond our authority, we need to understand that the situation cannot be helped with temper. Hence, we should not become enraged or stressed out about them.
Nearly every day, we go through situations that are absolutely beyond our grasp, so how do we respond? We are concerned. We are apprehensive. We become confused and annoyed, and we allow our rage to rule our day. As a result, we waste a lot of our energy stressing and being frustrated.
We believe that by brooding on the problem, we will find an answer, and we are often correct... if the scenario is one that we have considerable influence over. Differentiating from things you can regulate and things you can't save you a great deal of time, effort, and emotions.
Rage isn't going to fix everything.
Now, I'd like to present the techniques you need to begin making progress, irrespective of your anger. First and foremost, let us learn to differentiate between things we have no command of and those over which we have.
Knowing the contrast between what you can manage and what you can't dictate where you think your dominance is stored. When you strive and resist against anything you can't change, you perpetuate the unpleasant emotions.
You may become enraged since you lack control, or you may believe you are inadequate because you are powerless to fix it. You may even strike out and inflict emotional distress on another because of something you never could prevent initially.
However, once you know that it is beyond your influence, you grant yourself the option to reclaim your authority. You need to understand that our fortitude is decided by what you are doing with your problems, not by what they are. Once you realize this, your perception will change, making you feel calmer about your situation.
Once you determine that you don't influence the circumstance, you will understand that there is no reason for you to fight over it. So why fight it when you could use that energy to make yourself feel happy while you're going through it?
Acknowledging issues over which you have no influence is the initial step in coping with them. Recognize that they've arrived and that you'll have to work hard to get over this, and that the situation will leave you with a lesson for your future.
Be conscious of your surroundings, engage in them, and be fascinated by them. This doesn't imply you must surrender your authority to it; all you have to do is realize its presence. You relieve a lot of the aggravation, worry, and despair that accompanies an uncontrollable incident by doing so. In addition, you may learn wisdom out of your setbacks by consciously selecting your reaction to them.
Ask yourself what is causing a problem to take place? Is there a ray of hope through the setback you are facing? There are many situations where we realize our frustration was invalid upon discovering the truth. When that happens, we rationalize our anger by not having known. But isn't that the purpose of patience? To wait until the actual truth enlightens us?
Truthfully, being human, we cave into anger only to feel embarrassed later on. However, we can change this. Next time we are in a problematic situation, we can tell ourselves to wait for a little and discover the truth than lash out.
Look into the why of the occurrence to see if it makes you feel better. Then, have a look if you can't find it.
That is the motive of external stimuli anyway – to help us overcome our temper and adopt the habit of patience. Just think of how better you would feel if you could rationalize your actions consciously before taking an impulsive action and embarrassing yourself amidst the process!
All that needs to be done is to make a conscious decision – of being present in your current situation. Being aware that there may be something bigger behind what you’re experience will not only calm you down but will leave you feeling better and more in control of the situation.
That is because when you are calm, you can think better. Your mind is not fogged with negative emotions weighing you out. Instead, you will feel lighter. And with a clear head, you will be able to think through the situation better. So embrace this external stimuli life renders you, and you will see just how much control you have over your life.